It's a funny old game

The big talking point in the world of football today was the own-goal expertly nodded in by Liverpool's John Arne Riise in yesterday evening's Champion's League semi-final against Chelsea. The reaction to that goal has, at times, been quite ridiculous. Riise has been given a real slating in most quarters; one commentator on a well known sports radio show even suggested that Riise should never be allowed to play for Liverpool again.

Really?! The own-goal was an honest mistake. Mistakes happen in football, they always have, and they always will. The fact that Riise's error came in the fifth minute of injury time and handed Chelsea a vital away goal makes it most unfortunate for Liverpool and their fans. However, when it comes to high drama, the timing and the manner of the equaliser could not have been any better. Moments like that serve to remind me how much I love that side of the game. When Riise headed into the roof of his own net it really made me laugh. Not because I have anything against Liverpool or against Riise, but just because it was so damn funny.

The overreaction in today's press totally misses the point; football is funny. That's why we go back week in, week out. That's why we pay our hard earned money. Fantastic if it is a great game with some cracking performances and wonderful goals, but add a bit of slapstick or farce and then I really feel as if I've been entertained.

So hats off to you Riise, that moment alone last night made the viewing even more enjoyable. We all make mistakes, and he will get over his. He is a good enough footballer to pick himself up and put the blunder to the back of his mind. But for someone to suggest he should never play for the club again is absolute lunacy. The more blunders the better.

This evening's post is therefore made up of some random recollections from the dark recesses of my memory. In no particular order, some things that have made me laugh whilst watching our beautiful game, incidents that made me laugh so much I struggled to breath.

1. That penalty miss. This is one I've seen on television so many times. A player (in yellow) runs up to take a penalty, stubs his toe just behind the ball and the ball trickles a few feet and the buffoon limps away clutching his leg. Not sure who the player is or which team he is playing for. One thing I do know; it was absolute quality. David Beckham, eat you heart out. In fact, you can see it here.

2. The farcical throw-in. Step forward George Frederick Berry, Welsh international, born in Germany. Whilst playing for Peterborough United (in 1991, at Gillingham, I seem to recall), Berry takes a throw for the POSH. It goes all of ten yards and out of touch again for a Gillingham throw. Berry had us rolling in the aisles. I reckon he couldn't do that again if he had tried a thousand more times. He played only thirty two games for the POSH. I wonder why...

3. That free-kick against Zaire. One of my earliest football comedy memories. The 1974 World Cup. Brazil have just won a free-kick against Zaire. Zaire line up a wall on the edge of their own penalty area. Brazil place the ball for the kick, the referee blows his whistle. At which point, one of the Zaire players in the wall sprints fully twenty wards to the ball and boots it away. Magnificent. A serious lack of understanding of the rules. The referee failed to see the funny side and booked him. Spoilsport.

4. That famous lob. It is the 1995 European Cup Winner's Cup Final between Arsenal and Real Zaragoza. With the game delicately poised at 1-1 in the dying seconds, Nayim picks the ball up just inside the Arsenal half and clouts the ball towards Seaman's goal. With Seaman frantically back pedalling, the ball flies over the mustachioed one into the net. A forty yard lob in the last minute of injury time. Prior to Real Zaragoza, Nayim had played for Tottenham; a Tottenham fanzine entitled "One Flew Over Seaman's Head" was soon being sold on the streets of North London.

5. The guy who scored an own goal with his nose. The guy in question was Chris Brass playing for Bury against Darlington, and this is probably my favourite. Deep in his own penalty box, he attempts to clear a cross with an overhead kick. Except he slams the ball into his own mush for a gloriously spectacular own-goal. He broke his nose in doing so. Ouch. Take a look for yourself.

Yes, this is a beautiful game. But it can be damn funny as well.

Health Warning

I must point out that I am looking forward to my trip to Cambridge United...

Doing this FA Cup run has meant that the draws take on a whole new meaning. If nothing else, they now (for me) pose a serious health risk. I was tired, drained and emotional after watching the live draw on Sunday. The home teams drawn out of the hat before the tie involving Weymouth were Oldham Athletic/Doncaster Rovers and Darlington/Northampton Town. The thought of long trips up North affected my ability to breath.

By the time Cambridge United v Weymouth had come out of the hat, I was barely conscious. It was a struggle to crawl to my PC, let alone write anything meaningful or incisive.

I have now slept on it. And I tell you what, it's a pretty good draw really. Just over eighty miles (each way) for me to travel; nearer than Eastbourne. Another non-league club and an all Conference tie, so the guarantee of a non-league club in the Third Round Proper. I'll get to meet up at the game with a friend I haven't seen in ages. The Cambridge United fans have already been good value. The Weymouth fans likewise...a pretty good draw all round.

After Saturday's game at Priory Lane, Weymouth take over where Eastbourne Borough left off. With three weeks to go before the game, I plan to take a closer look at both Weymouth and Cambridge United.

In the meantime, I have added another interactive poll just below the FA Cup picture in the main menu. What do you think the result will be on December 1st? Please cast your vote now.

You won't win anything but I can guarantee it comes with no health risks.

All four corners...

In six days I'll be off to Dartford for the 1st Qualifying Round game against Sittingbourne. Whilst I'm looking forward to the game, there is something else that is quite engrossing about this venture. Yes, there will be many new grounds to visit. Yes, there will be teams I would not ordinarily travel to watch. Yes, there will be some cracking cup football. But there is another thing, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

The only way I can describe the feeling is something akin to an adventure into the unknown. Admittedly, it is not in the same league as Tenzing and Hillary or Amundsen, but for me it is enthralling nonetheless. Just where in the country is this road to take me? The FA Cup draws will now have a completely different meaning for me. No longer will I simply be focused on my team. There will now be a totally new meaning. The balls pulled out of the bag could push me off almost anywhere in England or Wales. It is this I find the most captivating.

Sad, I know.

Out of interest, I took a look at the FA Cup competition from last season, 2006-07. Starting with Chertsey Town, I plotted the route to Wembley. The following sequence of games were thrown up:

> Chertsey Town 3, Abingdon Town 2
> Oxford City 5, Chertsey Town 0
> Bishop's Cleeve 3, Oxford City 1
> Newport County 4, Bishop's Cleeve 2
> Tonbridge Angels 0, Newport County 1
> Newport County 1, Swansea City 3
> Darlington 1, Swansea City 3
> Sheffield United 0, Swansea City 3
> Ipswich Town 1, Swansea City 0
> Watford 1, Ipswich Town 0
> Plymouth Argyle 0, Watford 1
> Watford 1, Manchester United 4 (at Aston Villa)
> Chelsea 1, Manchester United 0

And now it strikes me. If I had done this last season, I could have been off to all four corners...Newport County, Darlington, Ipswich and Plymouth. I would have witnessed Swansea's impressive cup run. Interestingly, I would not have seen an all-Premiership tie until the semi-final, assuming I would have been able to find tickets.

But the past is no guide to the present, especially with the FA Cup.

Who knows? This season, I may spend the majority of the FA Cup in Kent.

The road starts here (at the end of my lane)

First ever blog, first ever post, and an apology already. It's my title, you see. "Wick to Wembley?". It's not quite right, slightly misleading. But I'll come to that in a bit.

Ever since my Dad took me to my first ever FA Cup game I fell in love with the competition and I'm still in love. Don't ask me to explain why, I don't know. My wife regularly reminds me it is football, a game, nothing more, nothing less. Twenty two people chasing a pig's bladder around a field. What is there to love?

I'll watch any football game, always have, always will.

But the FA Cup is special. Every season I look forward to it. The small clubs in the early rounds, the First Round proper where there is always an upset, the Third Round where the "big" clubs join in, the excitement of the Semis and then the Final itself, steeped in history. And don't get me started on the draws. Even better when they are live draws. The balls in the bag, the team numbers, the anticipation, excitement and then disappointment when your team gets Darlington (away). Fantastic.

And every year I hear myself saying the same thing "You know, one year I'm going to do a Road to Wembley type thing....". Every bloody year. It drives my wife mad, I'm sure it irritates the hell out of my friends, it is even starting to annoy me now.

So, just do it.

You know the thing, don't you? Go and watch your local club in the Extra Preliminary Round in August. Whichever team wins, go and see them in the next round, and so on, until you arrive at the Final. Wembley. Easy. Job done.

And so here I am, and I've been to the first match:

"Football Association Challenge Cup (sponsored by e.on) Extra Preliminary Round, Chertsey Town v Wick, Tuesday 21st August 2007 Kick Off 7.45pm."

Kind of by accident really. A Tuesday night, nothing on the TV. Chertsey Town's home ground only a stone's throw from home. At the end of my lane, to be precise. Why not?

And this is where my apology enters, stage left. This was actually a replay, the first game was at Wick (a 2-2 draw). I thought "Wick to Wembley" sounded a little snappier than "Chertsey Town to Wembley". Sorry.

But why the question mark(?) in "Wick to Wembley?". Well, I'm not sure if I can do it. It's a tall order. Obscure grounds in places (or even parts of the country) I've never been to before. The distances to travel. The cost. The availability of tickets in the latter rounds. My wife. My child. The inane sadness of it all.

Excuses?

Who knows? In the meantime, come on in, the water is lovely.